Congratulations, you have that first date! Well done, but you need to make sure that this date goes as well as it can possibly, so I have come up with the top 5 things to make the dream date go as smoothly as possible.
This is not about where you should go, we shall cover that in another post, this is about your actions before and after that date to make it memorable and hopefully guide you to the next date and hopefully beyond.
1 - Plan
Before you actually get to go out on that date you will need to plan what you are going to do. This is not the time for last minute actions, you want to make the best impression, therefore this takes a little effort. As I endlessly say preparation and effort pay themselves back tenfold.
Firstly, establish some parameters, there is no point taking her for oysters, when she is allergic to them! So you will need to ask a couple of questions before making your plan. Then do the things that need to be done; book the table; purchase the tickets; buy the flowers, etc. Whatever you need to do, get it done, ahead of time and make your life easier.
2 - Style
Unless it is a blind date, they will have seen you, but that does not mean that you should not care about the impression you make. This is generally the first major impression that you will be making. So make sure you are clean, tidy and even cleaned your nails. These things will be noticed.
A very important point - dress up! Your date will have gone through several outfit choices and a whole thought process about what to wear and they will always have made an effort. So should you, at the very least put on a good shirt and jacket. It will set you apart from over 70% of the other first dates who roll up after falling off the couch.
3 - Listen
Whatever you do, listen to them!
Let’s start with putting the phone away or put it on silent, or, even better, ‘airplane’ mode. You should be giving your full attention to the person opposite/next to you, not your Twitter follower or Facebook friends. You need to be focused on the person in front of you.
Listen to what they are saying, so you can have a proper conversation and be interested in them and who they are. We are not saying be silent, but the first rule is to listen, then converse. You will know that the chemistry is there, if after a few minutes the conversation flows effortlessly.
By doing this simple thing, you will be in the top 15% of all the dates they have ever had, as not listening is frequently listed as the number one problem on dates.
4 - Ending
Whether you have had a great night and your future is written in the stars or the magic was not there, you need to behave the same. The Gentleman always picks up the first bill. There is a number of reasons for this, but simply put, we believe that the person who asks the other out is the paying party, and you asked for the date you are the asking & paying party.
Then escort the lady home, whether that is to the nearest cab or public transport stop, if you are truly gallant then all the way home.
As Jimmy the Saint says, you should try to avoid kissing on the first date. There are always exceptions to the rule but it is a threshold that is easily crossed in today’s world and perhaps a little delayed gratification and decorum might just give you the edge in the long run.
5 - Future
If your date has gone well and there are plans afoot or desire to make a second one, there is no need to wait some arbitrary period of time before contacting your date. Let them know you had a great time and you want to see them again. Carpe Diem, is a good policy at this point, as you never know what might happen in that arbitrary say ‘3 days’, that might not make that second date likely.
If sadly, you did not feel the sparks of delight, then once again let the other party know as gently and politely as possible. No true gentleman would ever do this by text or some other less than polite manner.
We hope that these 5 gentlemanly tips will help you make your date as smooth and graceful as possible and will, no matter what, endear you as a gentleman among men.
About the author
Zach Falconer-Barfield
Zach is referred to as the Gentlemen Entrepreneur. He is the co-founder of the media & education company ‘The Perfect Gentleman’. He is about to embark on new ventures including a Facebook Live cookery show and writing a new book about Entrepreneurship.
Diagnosed with severe asthma at 3 months old, he spent over 50% of his early life either in hospital or bedridden. He knew then he would not have a conventional career and after working in and managing his family's restaurants, he trained as an actor at a prestigious London theatre school. He left his acting dreams behind to found his 1st company at 19 and never looked back.
Since then he has ridden the entrepreneurial roller coaster personally founding over 10 companies and being involved in the founding teams or early stages of a further 20 other companies. He has covered such diverse fields as Construction, Hospitality, Security, Entertainment and Events.
He is an author, consultant and lecturer. He is also involved as a Non-Executive Director and Advisor to a number of companies. He also has an MBA from Cass Business School
Apart from his professional ventures, he is a volunteer with the Prince's Trust.
To find out more please visit www.zf-b.com
